Part 5: Self help: Rock Bottoms lead me to the Rock

Missed part 4? Find it here!

In the last email, I shared how cognitive dissonance and a devastating friendship breakup planted the seeds of my journey to Christ while simultaneously bringing me to new emotional lows.

Today, I'm sharing the pivotal moments that followed, ultimately leading me to surrender my life to Jesus.

>>The Near-Death Experience<<

On August 17th, 2019, I almost died in a paddle boarding accident. Swept under a floating dock by a strong current in the Navesink River, I became trapped under water, the velcro ankle leash holding me in place submerged underneath the dock.

As I struggled to hold my breath, a few thoughts raced through my mind: my mother's impending heartbreak getting the call that I’d died, the triviality of my life issues, and the stark realization that I was utterly alone – no one was coming to save me.

By God's grace (and sheer adrenaline) I managed to free my ankle from the board leash, swim out from underneath the dock, and climb back on top of it.

As I sat on the dock, bleeding and hyperventilating, I stared across the river at a church with a gigantic cross. “Seriously?” I thought. “A cross?” At that moment, my thought was, “God is trying to kill me.”

Little did I know, this near-death experience was the beginning of my journey to dying to myself and discovering what truly mattered.

>>The Birthday Party Disappointment<<

Fast-forward to my 30th birthday. I planned a celebration at a local restaurant, inviting all my friends. But months after they’d already RSVP’d, one by one, they all dropped out at the last minute.

It felt like a punch in the gut, considering I had always shown up for their events—driving and even flying hundreds of miles to their showers, weddings, parties, etc.

As an introvert, I RARELY threw get togethers, yet the one time I did, no one showed.

Once more, I was struck by the weight of the stark truth – I was devoted to friendships that were not reciprocal or authentic.

This disappointment, along with the friendship breakup and near-death experience, sent me spiraling.

But the utter pain and loneliness I felt finally got me to drop to my knees, and I cried out to God in anguish.

At that moment, I realized it was time to walk fully with Jesus and let go of anything that didn't align with Him.

>>Surrendering to Jesus<<

I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but soon after my moment of clarity, crying out to God, I felt a strong urge to get rid of all my New Age books, astrology items, tarot card decks, crystals, and Buddha statues.

My boyfriend (now husband) thought I was having some sort of manic episode, but I felt with certainty that I was finally "seeing the light."

I realized that Jesus was the only way, and to truly walk with Him I would have to give up everything that was keeping me distant from Him.

Although I always had a "spot" in my heart for Jesus, I was fascinated by Eastern religious practices and wasn't quite sure WHO God was.

At my rock bottom moment, I finally admitted that I needed a PERSONAL relationship with God. I was done settling for the “impersonal force” that was the “universe” and “energy.”

Sure, I had walked into a few megachurches here and there over the years and felt moved by the music and sermon. Still, I continued to dabble in other spiritual practices, never fully committing to either one.

But that day I suddenly felt strongly convicted that I needed to stop playing both sides.

Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” (1 Kings 18-21)

On that day, the chips fell into place. The seeds planted by Doreen Virtue's testimony, watered by these emotional rock-bottom moments, had finally sprouted. I became "sold out for Jesus," and finally accepted God’s offer to have a PERSONAL relationship with Him through his Son.

Stay tuned for the next part of my journey, where I'll share how this newfound faith transformed my business, relationships, and life.

Christine