Part 6: My Life After: Peace, Purpose, and Perseverance

In the last email, I told you about the key moments that made me surrender my life to Jesus. 

Today, I'll share how things have changed since I started walking with Him and the challenges I've tackled.

Inner Peace Through Simplicity

I've found that peace comes from simplifying things.

Walking with Jesus has allowed me to finally get off the hamster wheel of seeking the next mystical practice or spiritual high. Now, my focus is on the Bible and God's word. 

His path is narrow, and while some may see that as restrictive or boring, the structure and straightforwardness of the Christian walk are refreshing and comforting in a way I'd been seeking my whole life.

I've saved money, time, energy, and emotions by avoiding impulse buys like the newest self-help books, sound bath sessions, or yoga retreats.  

It's been helpful in steering clear of blindly soaking up advice from therapists, gurus, coaches, and influencers. I used to get bombarded with conflicting tips on life, success, and fulfillment from all sorts of "experts" without really stopping to think about where their wisdom was coming from.

While I see the benefits of taking in different viewpoints on business and psychology, I'm better at sifting through online advice now, weeding out stuff that doesn't align with my beliefs or values. By spotting when people are just doing their own thing rather than following the path of Christ, I can smartly pick which advice to roll with.

God has really helped me kick my old numbing habits. He's helped me ditch the drinking, and I've been sober for over two years now. With His guidance, I also managed to overcome comfort eating. I owe breaking these chains entirely to Him.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

Having a clear life roadmap (Scripture) helps me progress steadily towards my goals without the drama or expectation of “deserving to reach my full potential.” 

I acknowledge that - as a human - I don't inherently deserve anything. Every blessing I receive is solely by God's grace. The humility from this realization is profound for someone like me who was obsessed with accomplishment and validation.

Ultimate Purpose Found

So much of our inner unrest comes from wondering, "Why am I here?" Self-help tells us that our purpose is “out there, somewhere” and we just have to unlock it.

Unpopular viewpoint alert: Excessive self-reflection and dwelling on past pain may not always promote well-being. Some self-help figures advocate endless self-improvement to the point of full blown self-obsession.

As someone with childhood trauma, I became an absolute sucker for anyone offering “healing.”

So, even though therapy has helped me a ton, I reached a point where I realized it was time to to shift from discussing my childhood issues to figuring out ways to help others and contribute positively to society.

It's concerning that some of the most self-centered, self-absorbed individuals are the ones who claim they can "heal" others. It's frightening because they exploit people (like me!) who are desperately seeking healing.

What truly captivated me about Christianity was the raw truth that certain afflictions, such as my depression, are part of this lifetime and I may not find complete healing here on this earth.

While this realization might seem somber to some, for someone like me who has been fed false promises, it is a breath of fresh, unvarnished honesty.

It's a relief to realize that instead of hunting for my "divine" purpose and "fulfilling my calling," my life's true purpose is to glorify and obey God, guiding others towards Him. This shift has lifted a tremendous weight off my shoulders.

True Identity and Worth

Knowing that I am a child of God and that my worth through His eyes is the only thing that matters has shattered many of my self-esteem issues. 

I no longer hinge my value on my freelance clients or social interactions. Being judged or mistreated is part of our earthly experience, and Jesus promised us trials. There's something assuring about that because my expectations have been lowered dramatically.

As you can tell from my friendship breakup stories, I caused myself (and others) a lot of heartache. I expected too much from my earthly relationships. I was seeking validation and emotional fulfillment from them, which was honestly too much to ask for. 

Lately, God's really been working on my heart in this area. His forgiveness for MY flaws and mistakes has made me more humble, allowing me to forgive others, accept their imperfections, and show grace even when it's not earned. God loved me even at my worst, and that's changed how I treat others.

Challenges and Growth

While my journey to Christ has been transformative, it comes with its challenges. Living a secular lifestyle for so long, I had only ever met two born-again Christians in my life, which meant everyone around me was a non-believer. 

As a result, I faced judgment and rejection, leading to a sense of spiritual isolation that lasted for years.

Moreover, as I grew in my faith I began to feel convicted about certain lifestyle choices and beliefs that went against God's teachings. I suddenly felt compelled to repent for things in my past (like living with my boyfriend) that hadn't bothered me when I was in spiritual blindness. 

This process of conviction and repentance was not easy, but it was necessary for my growth.

Sharing my faith publicly through my newsletter and YouTube channel has been a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it has brought Christian fellowship and encouragement into my life, connecting me with other believers who have supported me on my journey for the first time. 

On the other hand, it has also attracted criticism and challenges to my beliefs. As someone who came to Christ at 30 without the support of a church community, I often feel the burden of defending my faith while simultaneously grappling with my own questions and doubts.

However, through these challenges, I've learned that it's okay to have questions and struggle with the hard parts of faith without losing sight of the bigger picture. I don't have to have everything figured out – I can trust in God's ultimate plan, even when I don't understand it. 

This realization has brought me peace and has allowed me to continue growing in my relationship with Christ, even in the face of adversity.

Despite the challenges, I wouldn’t trade my inner peace and sense of rootedness for any worldly price. I learn every day, and I’m humbled and challenged—and that’s why I tell you the Christian walk is anything but boring. 

If my story has made you even the slightest bit curious about God, I urge you to keep seeking. If you don’t know Jesus yet, you may think you’re just reading these emails out of curiosity but I believe it’s more than that. 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you". The verse continues, "For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened".Matthew 7:7-12